Kompakt artist Rex the Dog put out some of 2004's finest tracks and remixes, but what's most intriguing about Mr. Dog is his closely guarded biographical information-- and the speculation that surrounds it. Today in an interview exclusive to Riff Central, a hopefully every-other-day, subsidiary mp3 blog of Planet Riff World, Mr. Dog answers the questions we've been asking ourselves for months now.

RIFF CENTRAL: PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU WON'T TELL THEM. WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A DOUCHEBAG

REX THE DOG: HA HA. WE LIKE TO THINK PART OF OUR APPEAL IS OUR MYSTERY. LIKE, IF WE TOLD YOU MICHAEL MAYER'S REAL NAME, I BET YOU'D LOSE INTEREST.

RIFF CENTRAL: I THOUGHT HIS ALBUM WAS UNEVEN. LISTEN ASSHOLE, WHY DO YOU REFER TO YOURSELF IN THE PLURAL. DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A LITTLE MISLEADING

REX THE DOG: HOW DO YOU MEAN?

RIFF CENTRAL: DO YOU HAVE A DOG?

REX THE DOG: YES

RIFF CENTRAL: DOES IT HELP YOU MAKE MUSIC?

REX THE DOG: YES

RIFF CENTRAL: OK NEVERMIND

REX THE DOG: ALL THINGS HELP US MAKE MUSIC. OUR PERSONAL INTERACTIONS, OTHER MUSIC WE HEAR, THINGS WE READ-- EVEN THE WEATHER!

RIFF CENTRAL: I THINK THAT'S A STRETCH. LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR REMIX OF SOULWAX'S "E-TALKING". I AM GIVING MY READERS FREE ACCESS TO THE SONG UNDER THE INCREDIBLY MISINFORMED BELIEF THAT MY LINK WILL ACTUALLY SPUR ON RECORD SALES

REX THE DOG: THAT IS A GREAT IDEA

RIFF CENTRAL: YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES

REX THE DOG: FOR THE REMIX OF E-TALKING I ASKED MYSELF, "IF E COULD TALK, WHAT WOULD IT SAY?" AND TO ME, E DOESN'T TALK WITH WORDS-- IT TALKS WITH BEATS. AND YOU DON'T HEAR E TALK WITH YOUR EARS-- YOU HEAR IT WITH YOUR FEET.

RIFF CENTRAL: HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES THE PHYSICALLY DISABLED FEEL

REX THE DOG: ...

RIFF CENTRAL: HAVE YOU EVER LOCKED YOURSELF IN A BOX TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF, THEN SUDDENLY POPPED OUT OF THE BOX AND YELLED "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?"

REX THE DOG: NO

Soulwax: "E-Talking" [Rex The Dog Remix] [Fixed Link]  ¶ 7:00 AM